10 yeas ago i lost my mom to cancer, and immediately im 21 and my grandmother also merely passed away from cancer?
my family said its not healthy for me not to hold a brakedown because of what happend i have never just broke down and cried i did cried the daylight they both day and the day of the funeral's but save for that i have not, is that normal?? and yes sometimes i hold it surrounded by, i feel like idk approaching they r right but the think is i feel similar to i cant talk to them about it and i dont want to walk to a "profecional", but the other thing is that i feel resembling their is no point of living my life if the people i 1s loved are gone in a minute and ever since my grandmothers passing on march i hold my own way of dealing w/my pain i cut myself, and by bestfriend said its not virtuous 4 me to do that but i feel its the only track i can deal w/everything, so what do u think?
Every one grieves in different ways. There seem to be seven phases of the grieving process. They are:
The grieving process differs based on who we are, whom we have lost, and how much our day-to-day life span is altered by the death. Although everyone experiences the grieving process differently, the grieving process tends to enjoy seven distinct phases.
Grieving Process - Phase I
The grieving process usually begins once the person is informed of the demise. During this phase, the person experiences a vast array of emotion - anger, sadness, shock, disbelief, etc. The first phase of the grieving process can last for several weeks.
Grieving Process - Phase II
After the initial recoil to the death, the numbness begins to wear rotten and the person may feel that the spasm of the loss is nearly unbearable.
Although many ancestors may keep this painful attitude bottled up, it is best to express the pain. Hiding it and trying to "be strong" for others is not healthy. It's best to find someone to natter to who can understand the emotions and aching. Seeking help from community resources for support is recommended.
Grieving Process - Phase III
Once the unbearable aching of the loss has subsided, a person may start to reminisce and try to re-experience past events with the lifeless. Looking through photo albums, re-visiting places, and wearing jewelry of the deceased are some examples of how people may choose to remind themselves of departed times with the deceased.
Grieving Process - Phase IV
The fourth phase of the grieving process involves a "reinvesting" of ones duration. The bereaved begins to show signs of adjustment to life minus the deceased. Discussions of "starting over" may occur, as all right as changes to the bereaved's physical environment. It is not until this phase of the grieving process that the bereaved seems to be coping near the loss.
Grieving Process - Phase V & VI
During phases V & VI of the grieving process, the bereaved begins relinquishing attachments to past roles and relationships beside the deceased. The past relationship is replaced beside a new "memory" relationship. The bereaved begins to actively reinvest themselves surrounded by the "new" world - a world without their loved one.
Grieving Process - Phase VII
During the final phase of the grieving process, the bereaved is able to guess and speak of the deceased person lacking pain. Although the person may still get the impression sadness, the pain have subsided.
Take time to think about adjectives the wonderful times you had with your Mom and Grandmother. Good luck.