10 yeas ago i lost my mom to cancer, and immediately im 21 and my grandmother also merely passed away from cancer?
my family said its not healthy for me not to hold a brakedown because of what happend i have never just broke down and cried i did cried the daylight they both day and the day of the funeral's but save for that i have not, is that normal?? and yes sometimes i hold it surrounded by, i feel like idk approaching they r right but the think is i feel similar to i cant talk to them about it and i dont want to walk to a "profecional", but the other thing is that i feel resembling their is no point of living my life if the people i 1s loved are gone in a minute and ever since my grandmothers passing on march i hold my own way of dealing w/my pain i cut myself, and by bestfriend said its not virtuous 4 me to do that but i feel its the only track i can deal w/everything, so what do u think?
Answers: I lost my mom ending march to breast cancer as well and I am 27. She be only 53! It was awkwardly rough watching her suffer and taking care of her while she slowly dies but I feel peace through everything because it be all used for Gods purpose. Its something super natural through God what kept me strong. I miss my mom totally much and I randomly cried at first because I couldn't talk to her anymore and I still do sometimes but everyone deal with grief in their own channel. I didn't go see a professional or go to counseling to concord with the grief but I had my house in Christ support me through the struggle and with that I be at peace knowing my mom is in complete happiness and rapture where there is no more backache and I truly believe we Will reunite with our moms again. You are hurting inside really bad contained by turn you cut yourself to deal with it which some ethnic group just push it down inside and never feel those state of mind of grief and it starts to wear on someone. Its not healthy or safe that you cute yourself and I'm sorry that this is your lone way of dealing right now. There is hope and at hand is a certain purpose for your life. Not trying to be religious and stuff but God created you marvellously and wonderfully in your mothers womb and he wanted to show you something through this tough time surrounded by your life. Try to let God surrounded by your life and you will be amazed how God can transform your heart! It can happen you merely have to believe you are worth it! Its not an easy entry to do! I don't know you but I will be praying for your heart! Give it time and your will heal!
If you are inflecting pain upon yourself it is a sign you obligation professional help. Don't you realize now you hold two different things to deal with. For along time I could not cry. The anger be held in and felt I lately couldn't deal with it. As time go on some things in my life changed and I found I be able to shed a tear. My Mom died when I be ten. I remember feeling so angry because she left me. As I grew elder I realized she didn't decide to take off me. It was her time to go. I know I had to continue living because she would want me to. She would want me to be sunny and live a joyous life.
Every one grieves in different ways. There seem to be seven phases of the grieving process. They are:
The grieving process differs based on who we are, whom we have lost, and how much our day-to-day life span is altered by the death. Although everyone experiences the grieving process differently, the grieving process tends to enjoy seven distinct phases.
Grieving Process - Phase I
The grieving process usually begins once the person is informed of the demise. During this phase, the person experiences a vast array of emotion - anger, sadness, shock, disbelief, etc. The first phase of the grieving process can last for several weeks.
Grieving Process - Phase II
After the initial recoil to the death, the numbness begins to wear rotten and the person may feel that the spasm of the loss is nearly unbearable.
Although many ancestors may keep this painful attitude bottled up, it is best to express the pain. Hiding it and trying to "be strong" for others is not healthy. It's best to find someone to natter to who can understand the emotions and aching. Seeking help from community resources for support is recommended.
Grieving Process - Phase III
Once the unbearable aching of the loss has subsided, a person may start to reminisce and try to re-experience past events with the lifeless. Looking through photo albums, re-visiting places, and wearing jewelry of the deceased are some examples of how people may choose to remind themselves of departed times with the deceased.
Grieving Process - Phase IV
The fourth phase of the grieving process involves a "reinvesting" of ones duration. The bereaved begins to show signs of adjustment to life minus the deceased. Discussions of "starting over" may occur, as all right as changes to the bereaved's physical environment. It is not until this phase of the grieving process that the bereaved seems to be coping near the loss.
Grieving Process - Phase V & VI
During phases V & VI of the grieving process, the bereaved begins relinquishing attachments to past roles and relationships beside the deceased. The past relationship is replaced beside a new "memory" relationship. The bereaved begins to actively reinvest themselves surrounded by the "new" world - a world without their loved one.
Grieving Process - Phase VII
During the final phase of the grieving process, the bereaved is able to guess and speak of the deceased person lacking pain. Although the person may still get the impression sadness, the pain have subsided.
Take time to think about adjectives the wonderful times you had with your Mom and Grandmother. Good luck.